What is Supportability?
Most of us grew up in a culture which exalted the Lone Ranger behavior
of unsupportability - of thinking we have to do it all on our own, by
ourselves. The need for any kind of support is too often construed as
a weakness.
Being supportable means being open to and responsible for getting the
following forms of support:
- Assistance
- Accountability
- Input
- Feedback
- Coaching
- Inquiry
These forms of support are exactly what allow people to achieve the positive
working environment of successful work teams.
Supportability is a state of being open to other people and
the contributions they have to make to us. Sometimes this means a willingness
to really listen to what others have to say and to admit that we don't
always know everything or that we're not perfect.
Sometimes supportability means soliciting advice or coaching from people.
Sometimes it means being willing to request assistance. And sometime it's
just having people remind us that we are capable of producing results
and the we are not victims.
Supportability at work happens when managing others or being managed comes
from support rather than criticism. Participants in the program have reported
that their ability to let themselves be managed by their boss or even
by the people they work with expanded so much that they actually looked
forward to going to work.
This supportability creates a profound sense of partnership both in the
workplace and in personal life.
A participant who was a single mother reported that in becoming more
supportable with her children, she shared with them the results she
wanted to produce--an increase in her income and an opportunity to expand
her social life and find a meaningful relationship. She was amazed at
how much her children wanted to support her. They volunteered to help
with the housecleaning and encouraged her to participate in social events.
Once she was willing to stop being the "perfect mom" who "had
it all together," she found she was able to be closer and more
real with her children--who were thrilled to be given more responsibilities
and to be treated more like adults.
Networking is another form of supportability that many participants use
to create new relationships or find new jobs. Finally, the ultimate supportability
is allowing people to become intimate with us, to deepen our relationships
beyond the superficial level--where real nurturing takes place.
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